Diary Of A Pervert
by cxenon
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto is a pervert, and is mercilessly tortured by the pretty girls at Konoha High School. Watch as his indomitable will gets tested to the limits as he gets put into impossibly suggestive positions! Will he pull through, or will he give in to temptation? And to top it all, a seemingly plain Hinata harbors a crush on our blond pervert... Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is an modern AU fic, just something I decided to write. I wanted to try my hand at something that could be related to, so just bear with me. The main story I'll be updating would be Hard Work Pays Off Sometimes, so I will really appreciate it if you check it out! **

**Tell me what you think of this!  
**

**After the jump!**

* * *

My story starts here on the first day of high school. I had vowed to turn over a new leaf, become the person I've always wanted to be. Now was the time to change, the time to ensure everything went my way. Hell I might even become popular for once! High school is a time to live life to the fullest after all.

My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I'm Japanese, and I lived most of my life at the countryside. Right after middle school ended, my father and I had moved to the city, to Tokyo. I still remembered the first time I set foot here; How my eyes must have glinted as I took in the towering skyscrapers and the webs of highways! How I wondered at the constant bustle of traffic which continued through the night and into the wee hours of the morning!

I was fascinated to say the least. Tokyo truly was a city that never slept.

And then there were the girls.

Fascinating creatures aren't they? Girls I mean. I've seen my fair share of attractive girls in the countryside, but here in the city, they were stunning. What else can I say? The girls back home were conservative in the extreme; right here, they wear revealing miniskirts and pushup bras. They openly flout their sexuality without fear of reprise.

If you must know, I have never had a girlfriend. Not once, in my fifteen years of life. You see, I have, like any healthy boy, a very... Vivid fascination with the female body. I try my best to control it, I really do. I mean, all my friends are boys, and all seem to share the same fascination; but for most of middle school I was touted as a good for nothing pervert, and any girl I tried to approach rejected me quite violently, if I may say so. Naturally I found it unfair.

Now that I think about it, it probably started that one time, that prank the girls played on me...

It was many years ago, and I've almost forgotten about the incident. I'd just hit puberty, and started noticing this funny feeling I had in my crotch area.

It was after school, right after the bell had rung, and I was packing my back. As always, I was the last to leave class; I didn't have many friends anyway, and preferred to keep to myself.

And so, sitting alone in that deserted classroom, the faint rays of sunlight filtering in through the windows, I took out my diary, and started to fill in the 'to do' list for the day; my mother had just passed away two months prior (something about cancer, my father told me) and so all the household chores fell to me; my dad was always busy with work, always reaching home at the dead of night.

Then this girl came to my table. She was not more than two years older than me, and was sporting extremely large breasts; suffice to say it distracted me. A lot.

She had a full head of long black hair... Oh how it flowed, so soft and silky! Like water it seemed, always changing shape, always moving; it entranced me. Then there were her soft, kind eyes, aquiline nose and full lips. She was a veritable goddess! I stared at her, dumbfounded, unsure as to what I should do.

"Naruto-kun..." she purred.

Shit! That made me horny.

Gulping, I spoke tentatively, stumbling hopelessly over my words, "H-h-h-hi!"

This was a new experience for me, you must understand. The only woman I ever knew was my mother after all.

As if noticing the effect she had on me, she giggled, slinking over to me and placing her hand on my shoulder.

The moment her hand touched me, I flinched. My brain was on the verge of overloading, and I blubbered incoherently.

"Naruto-kun... I really like you, so do me a favor and... touch my breasts please..." she had whispered in a sultry tone.

Oh my god! That's some kinky shit! Just thinking about it excites me...

Blood had begun to flow freely from my nose, and I was hard pressed not to black out.

She nevertheless stuck her chest out, seeming almost proud at her bountiful assets. My attention was riveted.

Her hand traced my chest, sending jolts of pleasure up my body.

Then, my hand shot up and grasped her chest.

All of a sudden, screams could be heard. Looking outside in shock, my hand still fondling the girl's left breast, I could make out a whole group of girls yelling in rage and snapping photos.

Then the girl that had so masterfully played me promptly bashed my head, sending me to the ground. She ran out, screaming hysterically, "Uzumaki is a pervert!"

Fuck my life.

That was the beginning of the end for me. The pictures were circulated around school, and no girl ever dared associating with me. Even their boyfriends kept their eyes on me at all times, and if I even looked wrong at their significant other, they would beat me senseless.

Thinking about that makes me want to sigh. What did I ever do to deserve that?

I have already decided to turn over a new leaf. Heck, I even started to go to the gym, and I'm proud to say I can bench 225 lbs.

Here I am, standing at the gates of Konoha High School, while the sun beats down mercilessly on us poor mortals...

I find myself hard-pressed not to shout: _I'm ready for anything!_

But by the end of the day, it became painfully obvious being popular was harder than it looked.

**AN: How was it? read and review!**

**I'll try to update as much as I can, but school exams coming up.  
**


	2. Chapter 2 Caught Awkward!

**AN: Here's the second chapter. I appreciate the reviews from candybluesful and naruhinalover!**

**Thanks especially to naruhinalover, who has been a loyal reviewer of my other story as well!**

**After the jump!**

* * *

First class was Japanese. Turns out my teacher was a man-hating she-beast with red eyes (definitely contacts) and a strange sense of fashion. What _is_ with women and coloured contacts? They must think it looks sexy, or at the very least exotic and attractive. Me? I prefer regular, natural eyes... perhaps with a tinge of brown...

Oh yeah, no big chests for me, a slim figure would be fine.

Ohhhh... those long creamy legs...

Not to forget pink hair...

Wait! Uzumaki, you did not just drift off in the middle of lesson again! Thinking about girls no less! Have to concentrate, have to get good grades, have to...

Oh, look at those perfect emerald eyes...

Damn it! What was her name again? Sakura... something.

Man she's really artificial, now that I look at her. Her hair is dyed pink, and she wears coloured contacts just like our beloved teacher. At least her legs are really long. Did I mention the girls' uniform has a really short skirt?

"Uzumaki-san, class is over. What are you having next?"

The soft lilting voice washed over me, and I was content with enjoying the pleasant timbre of the vocal emission. Slowly, my eyelids closed, and my mind fed me images of dancing women drenched in ramen broth.

"... is Uzumaki-san dead?"

My eyes snapped open, "Hey! I'm not... dead..."

Right in front of my face was that familiar pink-haired girl, looking at me with bright eyes. I blubbered, wondering what I might have done to warrant such undivided attention.

"Uzumaki-san! You seem distracted. Anyway, what classes are you having next?" The girl inquired, apparently allowing my momentary lapse of concentration to pass.

Regaining my composure, I cleared my throat before answering, "Well, let me see..."

Ruffling through my mostly empty school bag, I retrieved my schedule for the day.

"Well, I seem to have math next period."

The girl leaned over the table, trying to get a closer look at the crumpled piece of paper in my hands. To me, it seemed her uniform was a touch too loose...

Woah! It was definitely too loose! I can see her bra from underneath her-

"Great Uzumaki-san! It looks like we have exactly the same schedules! I'm Sakura Haruno; I hope we can be good friends!" She quipped, suddenly standing up and proffering a hand.

Train of thought interrupted, I got shakily to my feet, taking her soft hand in mine and sealing our friendship with a quick handshake.

"N-nice to meet you too! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" I managed to say, stuttering a tad bit, perverted thoughts affecting my mental clarity.

Well, the day seemed to have started off well enough. Japanese lesson seemed to have passed without much trouble, although for the life of me I couldn't even remember the teacher's name. I was too busy looking at the girls in class - at Sakura, to be more exact.

I was having math next, followed by history and an hour-long break.

I followed Sakura as we made our way to class 2C for the math class. The classroom itself was a spacious rectangular room, complete with transparent glass panes overlooking the school field. I took a seat in the middle of the row of chairs beside the square windows, and admired the expansive sports facilities the school had to offer. It was quite a sight, if I may say so.

Our teacher was a lazy old man sporting white hair and wearing a medical mask. He seemed to speak in a perpetual drawl which irked me greatly.

"Helloooo class." He greeted. He just _had_ to draw the word out. "My name is Kakashi Hatake, and you will refer to me as _sensei_ whenever you see me. And yes, if you walk down the corridor and notice me walking in the opposite direction, you will stop and greet me, and stand aside to let me pass. Is that cleaaaaaar?"

Damn it. I already hate him.

After being met by a chorus of assents, mainly from the more spineless students (I'm afraid to say I was one of them), he decided to get us to introduce ourselves.

"This classroom will be the main venue for your learning for the entirety of this year. Of course, there will be exceptions, like the Mother Tongue class you just came from, as well as P.E. (Physical Education) and computer science, but besides that, you will be here. We have a class of about... twenty people... and the people you see around you will be your classmates. I would like you to start by introducing yourselves." He drawled. I swear he took five minutes to say that.

"Let's start with you." He said, pointing to the leftmost student.

"My name is Ino Yamanaka, and I like flowers, sometimes I help my parents out at-"

"Times up!" Kakashi tittered. "Keep it short, I just want to know your names."

"My name is Kiba Inuzuka, and I li-"

"Next!" He interrupted again. "We don't have very much time left, so _please_ keep it short."

If that's the case, why the hell are you speaking so slowly? Hypocrite!

One by one, the students gave their names; I have to say, there were some really pretty girls. Oh, and some mutt-like boys. I swear, that Kiba Inuzuka really reminds me of a dog. I know, not very flattering.

Anyway, the class had its fair share of big breasted females, like the blond Samui Yono, the ebony-haired Karui Komatsu (I bet she was from the countryside as well; her skin was even more tanned than mine) and the indigo-haired Hinata Hyuga.

Hinata was another one of those women who seemed to like artificial enhancements - her hair was most definitely dyed and she wore whitish-pink lenses. You know, I'm really becoming irritated with all this. Why can't women just be themselves? Hinata wasn't really that sexy anyway; I do admit that she was plump, in a cute sort of way, and her shy personality could be quite endearing, but she couldn't even say her name without stumbling over her words and blushing profusely.

Finally, it was my turn.

I stood up and spoke, loudly and proudly proclaiming my name in a show of childish exuberance. I had to show I was confident after all.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

And then I sat down.

"Short and sweet! I like it!" Kakashi exclaimed. "Next!"

Yeah! I like this guy!

After the students had given their names, Kakashi then spoke once more, "You guys look smart, so I doubt we will have much problems. Just a word of advice: keep respectful at all times, do not curse, and do not think to interrupt me when I'm speaking. I will not only be teaching you the finer aspects of mathematics, but I will also be your form tutor. Feel free to find me should you have any problem, personal or otherwise. I'm sure we can keep our relationship cordial."

I looked at the clock, stifling a yawn. The lesson was boring me already. I sighed when I found out that we had another hour of math. What could Kakashi want to do that he had to rush through our introductions?

"... Is that clear class? You're all dismissed." Kakashi finished lazily. With that, he whipped out an orange book and strolled out of class.

... Damn.

I wonder if the clock is slow. Nope, I couldn't have been here for more than fifteen minutes.

The students threw confused glances at one another, wondering what the heck was happening. On the other hand, I shrugged, and headed straight for the canteen, wondering whether they served ramen. It _was_ my favourite food after all.

* * *

The canteen was as large and well-kept as they came. Not a speck of dust could be seen on the shining tables, and I wondered for a moment whether they were made of glass. Turns out, the tables were a hundred percent grade A plastic. I could've been fooled.

And they _did_ serve ramen! Of course, It couldn't match up to the noodles my favourite stall, _Ichiraku's Ramen_, served, but then again, I have yet to meet ramen made with more expertise than the roadside vendor I frequent.

Man, this school is awesome. I bet it even has a weights room. As I was wolfing down the masterfully blended broth, a middle-aged woman approached me.

She had the biggest breasts I had ever seen.

She was blond as well, although I could tell it was dyed from the tell-tale black the roots of her hair sported. I couldn't care less anyway - I could not tear my eyes from the heavenly bouncing sacks of meat that filled my view.

She opened her mouth to say something, although I couldn't hear.

Then, she hit me on the head.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed, clutching my head.

"Are you listening to me? You were staring at my breasts were you? Stupid boy..." She seethed. The situation was getting out of hand. I could not allow a repeat of middle school.

"W-wait! No! I was looking at... uh... your arms... and how muscular they are!" I shouted, attempting desperately to find a way out of the situation. It was probably the dumbest thing to say; I half expected her to punch me in the face.

"Why... thank you! I'm sorry for hitting you, it's just all the men I know are perverts." She beamed, mood brightening almost instantaneously.

I was shocked. What kind of woman in their right mind would take a comment on their muscularity to be a compliment?

"... Do you go to the gym often? I know I do... I've been trying to build these biceps for god knows how long..." She rambled on. She pulled her sleeve back, exposing her arm to show the biggest bicep I have ever seen.

I swear she must have been on steroids or something. Who the fuck has that much muscle on a single arm? (besides bodybuilders) Hell, even I don't have that, and I do take pride in my muscles. (like any sane male would)

Then she pulled her sleeve back, immediately business-like. "But what are you doing here? I'm your principal, Tsunade, and I demand to know why you're skipping class!"

Still recovering from the mental effects of seeing a muscular arm on a well-endowed female, I managed to blurt out, "I'm not skipping! Kakashi-sensei let us off early."

At this, she seemed to understand. " That Kakashi never learns; I'm going to have a talk with him... You run along now, and don't get into trouble."

With that said, she sauntered away, a scowl upon her face.

I shuddered at the prospect of an immensely muscular female threatening me, most probably with castration. Poor Kakashi.

I quickly finished my food and returned to class early, not wanting anymore chance encounters with the teaching staff.

* * *

History class was... like history class. That is, dull and monotonous. The teacher was a sickly middle-aged man by the name of Hayate Gekko. He coughed every time he spoke. Actually, he coughed every time he said a sentence. Or it was more like every two or three words.

He coughed even when he wasn't speaking. If I didn't know better, I would say he was on his death bed. Of course, I didn't know better.

At least he had better hair than some girls. Short, natural brown hair. Yep, natural is always the best.

Anyway, I spent most of the lesson ogling Sakura's legs and Samui's breasts. You got to love them! I happily indulging in my fantasies of them in scantily clad clothes and bathing themselves in salty noodle soup, rubbing the holy liquid into their skin and moaning out in unadulterated pleasure.

Well, I _was_ happily indulging in those fantasies, until Hayate-sensei threw a piece of chalk at me. It hit me square between the eyes, and I snapped out of my reverie, looking around in confusion, much to the amusement of my classmates.

"Mr. Uzumaki." When teachers address you as 'Mr.' it is never a good sign. "Would you be so kind as to summarise my main point?"

"Uuh..." I fumbled

The bell rang. _Yes! saved!_

"Well, I guess that's all for today. As a result of Mr. Uzumaki's short attention span, please memorise the entire section on Mussolini's Rise to Power. You will be given a test on the March on Rome of October 1922 at the end of the week." He coughed out before shuffling away.

Looking around sheepishly, I noticed hostile glares sent at me in all directions. Sakura herself came over to me to tell me off.

Damn my imagination.

* * *

I walked out of the classroom, feeling quite down. It was only the first day, and I'd already screwed up.

Sighing, I decided to explore the school. I had already eaten after all. I walked about a hundred metres to the back of the campus, to where the third-years were taught. It was their break time too. One thing I immediately noticed was how much it contrasted with the first-years' block. The first-years' classrooms were housed right at the front of the school, where everything was prim and proper; there were no signs of improper behaviour, and everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, such was not the case back at the rear of the school. The area was shadowed as no sunlight could really reach the section of the school, and I could see that the walls were covered in graffiti; vulgar expressions and... _other things_ were portrayed down the whole length of the originally white-washed cement walls.

It was probably the break time for the third-years as well, as I could see a few groups of them milling about, some of them shooting death-glares at me.

I had decided to return to my classroom, when I heard the beginnings of a scuffle right around the corner.

Peeking around the edge, I was treated to the sight of two whorish-looking (hey, they really looked like whores. ehehehe) red-haired girls confronting a indigo-haired girl... hey that was the Hyuga! Hinata Hyuga!

The two older girls were wearing a modified version of the school uniform together with a miniskirt. I think I saw some panties...

Their blouses were such that you could have a clear view of their cleavage, and they showed plenty of underwear. (at least from my perspective) Tattoos were inked on their long creamy white legs, and I could not help but mentally save that picture.

Having ogled my fill, I decided to hightail it out of there. My dad always told me to mind my own business and avoid butting in on others. It was not like I was one of those snobbish 'gentlemen' that gave help where help was not needed. I also had no intention of-

A slap echoed out.

I was a gentlemen in every sense of the word, and having such a chivalrous personality made it such that I had to help out any girl in need. The altercation was obviously getting out of hand, and Hinata now had an angry red-mark on the side of her cheek.

Time for action.

I leapt into the fray, confronting the girls myself. "Hey! What did you hit her for!"

I could see that they were confused at my sudden appearance. I attribute it to my ninja skills.

"Who the fuck are you! Get out of our way you cock-licking dumbfuck!" The bespectacled girl yelled out.

City girls do have a wider range of vocabulary. I decided not to push my luck and instead grabbed Hinata's hand and made a run for it.

The antagonistic females did not bother to chase us. Still, I kept the pace up until both of us reached our classroom. No sweat!

I turned to Hinata to see her rolling on the ground panting furiously. After several seconds, she caught her breath enough to stand up.

"Hey, Hinata right? What were you doing there?" I asked.

She replied softly, "I w-was j-just there to e-explore the school a b-bit..."

I almost had to strain to hear her. She spoke so softly...

"I was there to explore to! Those third-years are something huh? Maybe we should tell the teachers... nah!" I laughed. Hinata giggled a bit too, despite herself.

Now that I finally had a chance to see her up close, I found that she was actually very cute. She was pleasantly plump, although I disliked her dyed hair and coloured lenses; as I've said before, I prefer things natural.

As if noticing me staring very intently at her, a fierce blush crept over her skin and she started poking her fingers together. Why did she do that? Was she feeling unwell?

"Hey, Hinata-san, I noticed you blush a lot. Are you sick today or something?" I queried her.

The red flush covered her whole face, and for a moment I thought her face might explode. Maybe she has a blushing problem. Never heard of it, but it probably exists.

"Uuh... anyway why do you dye your hair such a strange colour, and why do you wear coloured contacts? I just don't understand why girls like to do that so much y'know?" I figured we were friends, and that she would help me understand the female gender a bit more.

"U-um..." She began, poking her fingers together more. "M-my eye colour i-is natural... a-and I d-dye my h-hair because its natural c-colour is... w-white..."

Her voice became progressively softer as she spoke. The way she sounded, it was almost as if she was embarrassed or something.

"It's your natural colour?" I asked. I've never heard of white hair and whitish-pink eyes being natural, unless she was...

"I-I was b-born an a-albino..."

Bingo. She seemed awfully downcast know, as if afraid of something. She probably was embarrassed after all. Deciding to cheer her up, I put my hand over her shoulder and squeezed, breaking out in a wide grin.

"Hey don't worry Hinata-san! Albino's are cool too!"

She giggled. I found that strangely endearing.

We spent the rest of the break period looking around less dangerous parts of the school. We even found an entrance to the roof, and decided it would become our personal spot.

* * *

Gym class. I was so pumped. I would show everyone how athletic I am! Maybe I can make Sakura notice me...

Hmmm, I guess I really do like her. Even with her artificially coloured hair, her legs are really to die for! I guess I'm that shallow...

Actually, that might prove a problem. Most of the girls in class seemed taken by the dark emo-boy at the back of the class - Sasuke Uchiha.

You know what? I don't like him.

But I was determined to show my athletic prowess. I even planned on joining a sports club! I could try for running, or karate, or...

I digress. The main aim: make the girls notice me.

We turned up at the field for gym class, only to find a spandex-wearing giant was our gym teacher. Out of all the teachers, he's definitely the weirdest by far. His introduction comprised mostly of the word 'youthful' and he started bounding around doing push-ups and sit-ups while talking.

Talk about strange.

After our first eye-opening experience with Guy-sensei, he then told us to change immediately into our sports attire, which had been prepared nicely for us in the locker-room. Wanting to impress him, I rushed to the locker-rooms and opened a random locker to find a cotton T-shirt and black pants. I could just imagine some of my more busty classmates running around in these...

Stifling a giggle, I quickly undressed, and was about to put on my clothes when I heard the door open. I could hear the girls giggle as they slowly shuffled in.

Huh? Why were girls coming into the boy's changing room? We-

Oh shit. _Oh shit._

I was in the girls' changing room. Luckily for me, the girls had not noticed me yet, and the lockers were big enough for me to fit inside. Opening one up as softly as I could, I slipped in and prayed that nobody would open it.

One by one, the girls picked random lockers to open.

Oh my god, that girl is coming here, she's going to-

Phew! She opened the one beside me!

"Hey Temari, there's nothing inside here..."

"Just open up another one Ino."

She opened the locker I was huddling in.

_Oh, I really got the girls to notice me._

**AN: Read and review! Let me know your opinions.**


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